It seems like anywhere you go there are these big dots on the map and in between there are a lot of people who are the salt of the Earth, but also a lot of rednecks. I found it in Germany and Ireland, and I find it in New York state too. I grew up in that redneck territory. As a kid I didn't see it because I was a little mini-redneck. The seeds of racism, racial-tinged classism, homophobia, and all other forms of bigotry were already planted in my little mind and heart. I grew up 40 miles from the biggest dot on the map. I could have grown up in rural Mississippi or Colorado and it would have been pretty much the same. Where I live now is the place they named the "Peekskill Riots" after, though they didn't actually happen in Peekskill, but outside of town. This small city of 25,000 people is one of the most diverse places I've ever been. There is a little bit of everybody. It is fairly integrated, though many of the white, artsy liberals I know here don't go to the South and Central American restaurants and stores. I guess if I learned anything along the way to take away some of my fear, it is how much I miss out on if I don't get in there and meet everyone I can, in spite of feeling some fear or some little tinge of something unidentifiable in the back of my mind. I was talking to a musician I know here and she was saying that she wanted to put together some kind of "multi-cultural concert" to bring together the white folks and the Latino folks. I started asking her what her favorite restaurants were in town. Whether she'd been to this Dominican Restaurant or this Chilean bakery etc, and it turned out she'd never been to any of them. It seemed to me maybe a better idea than some kind of "multi-cultural" event, why not just go shop at their stores? That might be a good start. I gotta learn Spanish. That's the next thing for me. So it goes. I'm not saying I'm cured. Inside me deep there is still a scared, redneck, bigot. All I'm saying is that if, in spite of how you feel deep inside, you put your hand out to someone, eventually that lightbulb in the back of your mind which says "bigot" will dim a bit and a bit more. It is a process. I'm very thankful for where I grew up. I think I saw the best and the worst of my country and world. I used to be a redneck so I can see one coming miles away. I used to be a drunk so I can see a drunk coming a mile away too... Experience... If you are a tiny bit afraid of young, black guys with baggy pants say hi to the next one of those guys you see in the deli. If we try to ignore it because it makes us uncomfortable, then it just grows and festers. We have to get the guilt and shame out of us and just reach out... My head is still full of all that bullshit, but my heart is changing. Ok enough of my preaching...

Tuesday, October 19th 2010